Breakfast in Bridgetown

Look, I love sausage, and I love bacon. I mean, look at the name of my company. But when I look at the Bacon Explosion, I actually feel sick. This thing is all over the internet, apparently with 16,000 sites linking to it, and the New York Times even did a story about it. I defy anybody to actually eat one, though. 5,000 calories and 500 grams of fat????

Also, we have a group going out in the morning, so get in touch if you want to come. And fellas, so you’ll know, as of now it’s me and six women. Ain’t braggin’, just sayin’.

I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d check on the old Violet’s space (5204 NE Sacramento). It was so good for so long, and so popular, then it went down in a series of twists and turns. So I was wondering if somebody was in there yet … and by golly, there is: Whale’s Tale, a Newport place now with a Portland location.

I am not hip to the Newport restaurant scene, but apparently Whale’s Tale is a Newport tradition of sorts. It is all about seafood, and even has a semi-cheesy seafood decor. My hunch is that the Newport place is all touristed-out, and this place is just a taste of that, with pictures of sailboats on the walls, stuffed fish swinging from the ceiling, poems about fishermen … you get the idea.

They have three large menus, one for each meal, and each one bursting with options. On the breakfast menu, there are a dozen omelets, a dozen Benedicts, and a half dozen “specialties.” Lots of shrimp and crab and salmon and oysters, and a lot of the usual breakfast fare, too.

They had only been open a couple weeks, and it sounds like they were barely open. I asked the guy who greeted me, and he said something like “We came down to put up a ‘temporarily closed’ sign, since we’re having some issues with the landlord, but then we decided to just open up, anyway.” Hmm. Looked like it was him, a cook and a very young, pleasant waitress, who managed to keep up with three occupied tables — this at noon on Tuesday, so it doesn’t appear that a lot of people know they’re open. I think she would have lost it with another table or two.

The food … I mean, tough to say on one dish, especially if they’re just opening. I got a Grilled Oyster Benedict, and it wasn’t really that great. Oysters were breaded and cooked well, but the rest of the dish fell kinda flat. The sauce was thin and kind of separated, and the waitress told me they had made it for my order. So I don’t know if that’s an unusual challenge, making hollandaise on the fly, but it wasn’t that good. And the potatoes had very little going on.

I’ll get back over there and give it another shot. I am a sucker for seafood, and for right now, anyway, there sure won’t be any lines over there. I have a sense there’s a ceiling on this place, though. How often do you think “Newport” and “seafood place” and “great” at the same time?

Then again, if you’re looking for fresh seafood at breakfast in Portland, what comes to mind? Not much, right? And especially not a place with more than two dozen options. If for that reason alone, Whales Tale will probably make it. And they’re giving out coupons at the moment, so it’s definitely worth checking out.

The Keystone Cafe looked and felt very much like a family-run place that’s been there a while, and K said it has – since 1979.

I overheard the lady greet one guy by name and say, “You don’t need a menu, do you?” Much healthy, happy food on the menu. I had wheat-free buckwheat-barley pancakes, and had them add walnuts and bananas. Could have also had corn-rice pancakes or oatmeal-sesame pancakes, and could have also added blueberries, real butter, organic pure maple syrup, sesame seeds, poppy seeds, sunflower seeds, coconut (unsulfated), raisins (organically produced), or yogurt/no better butter. I have no idea what “no better butter” is, nor what unsulfated means, nor the difference between “organically produced” and “organic.” However, my pancake was extremely good, hanging off every edge of the plate, with just the right combination of crunchy and creamy. K, who has obviously done this before, ordered with hardly a glance at the menu a Vegan Powerhouse with homefries, house-made tempeh, spinach, grilled mushrooms, and nutritional yeast gravy.

By the way, Microsoft Word does not recognize the words unsulfated, homefries or tempeh.

Anyway, the Keystone had paintings on the wall with happy children and glitter waterfalls and unicorns. Pictures of staff or regulars on the billboard. A berry picker hanging on the wall. Home-made breads. Lard-free tortilla chips. Men with long beards sitting in booths with laughing little kids. Hippie girls with flower tattoos just above the beltline. Couples reading the paper and not talking. A guy in leather. One in hiking boots, jeans, and a red plaid flannel shirt, stuffing a backpack in a spare chair — actually, that was me. Knee-jerk liberals, the lot of us.

I was supposed to meet a friend for waffles at Jace Gace (2045 SE Belmont) this morning, but we got there to find them closed for good. I never made it in there, but I heard all sorts of conflicting views, and like somebody said in an internet post, if you have a goofy name that nobody knows how to pronounce, that’s generally a bad sign.

A sign on the door says to watch for Tiger’s Cafe, with waffles, personal pizzas and Lebanese food. Strikes me as an odd mix.

So this is how cool Portland is. Debi and I are standing outside, wondering where we can go that’s nearby, and she says how about Zells, and I think of their German pancake. I say how about Pine State Biscuits and think of a country ham biscuit with gravy. We go for that, and on the way we drive past Wild Abandon, which makes me think of the back porch in summer. Then, on the way downtown, we go past Jam and I think of the lemon-ricotta pancakes and homemade jams.

So we live in an amazing breakfast town, and it’s no wonder at all that my jeans barely fit anymore.

I will now fall into the ageless trap of all bloggers: saying I am back now and plan to post regularly again. Right, you think. We’ll see, I say.

So I was snowbound, then out of town, and about to leave again. While I was gone there was some breakfast-related news around town, so here goes.

Bad news: Moxie Rx on Mississippi is closed for the season. Happy winter to those nice folks.

One, Kenny and Zuke’s is going to open a sandwich shop on NW Thurman by Food Front. Excellent news! So is the news that Roux is moving from North Portland to … Northwest! Yahoo again.

Elsewhere in Northwest, Cafe Nell has gotten some more press, this time some pretty good comments from the Oregonian. That wasn’t the case with Chez Joly, which does Sunday brunch down in … what, Downtown? The Pearl? Well, it’s at NW Broadway and Couch. You decide.

Willamette Week pitched in a review of Blue Pig Cafe, which replaced Gramma Lucy’s at 50th and Division. I thought it was alright when I went there.

Other bloggers have also been reviewing things, unlike yours truly:

VeganFabulous went to Belly and to Sip and Kranz

The “Regular Folks” blog did a quick trip to Screen Door

And finally, Coffee Girl is back online, this time checking out Francis on Alberta … and just seeing that name makes me want some benedict. Mmmmmm.