Breakfast in Bridgetown

Alright, this might be a stretch, but after writing about 125 of these things, forgive me if I occasionally go out on the edge.

I go the Unitarian church in downtown Portland, and right down the street is the West Cafe. I’ve seen it for years, and the only people I ever knew who ate there were Unitarians. Hard to argue with a place that’s right down the street — then again, if nobody ever tells me, the Breakfast Guy, about a place that serves breakfast, it kind of tells you something, right?

So here’s what I think of the West Cafe: if breakfast places were churches, the West Cafe would be the Unitarian Church.

Understand, I joined the Unitarian Church. Love the place, actually. Yet there are some funny things about it, and Unitarians often make fun of themselves. For one thing, they are always trying to explain — to each other — what they believe and what gives them an identity. They are a little bit churchy, with a choir and a pipe organ and everything, but real low-key, polite, non flashy, and sort of open to everything. One person I see there regularly identifies as a Buddhist, so there’s a lot going on there.

And the West Cafe is … well, start with the name. What does that mean? Does it project anything to you? Northwest means something, Southwest means something, but just West? Next up is the decor. It’s a perfectly nice place, a little bit fancy but not trying to wow you. It’s … comfortable, aiming for class.

Next up is the crowd, which is slightly older than average, certainly compared to, say, the Cricket Cafe. Also, there are a lot of Unitarians in there — and, from appearances, folks from other downtown churches. My friend Jerry, another Unitarian, ate with us Sunday and got up a couple times to “work the room.”

The menu is a true brunch, with something for everyone: seven starters, a dozen breakfasts, 10 soups and salads, a dozen or more sandwiches and wraps. Breakfasts range from the basic, like a skillet scramble (shades of Denny’s), to the fancier, like poached eggs with crab meat and a roasted garlic-tarragon aioli. From “skillet scramble” to “tarragon aioli” pretty much covers everything, kind of like a church with Buddhists in it.

As for the quality of the food, it fit with the non-flashy, not going for a wow, safe, welcoming, Unitarian theme. And yes, I just said it wasn’t very good. Then again, it wasn’t bad. Most of us thought that our food was uninspired. I can say, for example, that the crab meat dish was just fine, but not great. After all these breakfasts, my first sorting choice is “memorable” versus “not memorable”; you can guess where the West Cafe fell.

Another way to put it: the French toast, we joked, was just like Mom made. Really. Debi and I, trying to summarize it, settled on “The maple syrup is good.”

The best things I tasted were the oatmeal pancakes (with a berry salad, candied hazelnuts, and the dark, rich maple syrup) and a wild mushroom, spinach, chevre, and caramelized onion tart from the starter menu. The one bite I had of that tart was the highlight of the meal: like how the minister at my church occasionally says something that makes me look around at people as if to say, “Did a preacher just say that in church?”

So I’d say that if you’re looking for a welcoming, friendly, community-oriented church to attend, check out the Unitarians. And if you’re downtown on a Sunday looking for a nice brunch with no line, check out the West Cafe. Chances are, nobody has ever told you about it, which means one of two things: either people just don’t like it that much, or Unitarians just aren’t into trying to convert people.

West Cafe, SW 12th and Jefferson

Brunch is served 10 to 2 on Sundays. Main dishes priced $7-12. No line.